This is not a test...

Today began like any other. I woke up to Pilar (my dog) whining to be fed, and I could hear the rain and thunder. I was supposed to go to church to help in the office, but the pastor texted and said that we could postpone to Friday. So I took the extra time to lay in bed. I planned that I would lie in bed and play on the internet for a while, get up and get ready for work at 11am, then I would have a leisurely lunch while I watched hulu, and then I'd go to work at 12:30pm.

Well, the beginning of my plan was thwarted by the fact that my internet was not working. I think something happened to neighborhood lines in the crazy windstorm over night. So I just played a game on my computer instead. Well, then 11am came, and as I got up to go to take a shower, the tornado sirens started blaring. I got nervous quick. I didn't know how much danger I was in and how quick it was going to get there. My internet was down, so I couldn't look online. And I don't have tv channels, so I couldn't check there.

I saw that my neighbor across the street had her front door open, so I knew she was home. Before I decided to go over there, I went to safety on the stairway in my basement/garage. However, I was panicking because I didn't know what was happening 'out there' at all. I needed to find out where the storm was and how long it was going to last. So I decided to run to my neighbors. And so I learned what is most important to me in a critical situation.

I've pondered this before and tried to determine what I would take. Well, now I know.

1. I do not want to be caught in any sort of disaster without a bra. While I took the few seconds to put one on, I did not take the time to put on deodorant or brush my teeth. I did quickly brush my hair because I was running outside. (Don't judge too harshly though because remember that I was in those moments of the morning where I hadn't gotten/just did get out of bed. Ok? I slightly wished I had at least brushed my teeth, but again, I didn't know how much of a warning those sirens were giving.)

I then threw on a hoodie and slipped on some flip flops. I was still wearing a spaghetti-strapped shirt and my man-pajama pants.

2. Pilar is very important to me. She was laying on my bed watching me momentarily freak out, and so I grabbed her to take her to safety with me. I would never leave her.

3. My phone is also very important. It is the device I use most to contact people, and I used it to check in with friends that were in danger zones as well as with my dad.

4. On the way out the door, I grabbed my house keys. I didn't know what was going to happen, but I figured I better lock the door just in case, and obviously, I would need a way back in.

So with my phone, keys, and dog, I ran across the street and up the driveway to my neighbors. I lost a flip flop on the way up because it was raining, so I slipped off the other one and grabbed both in order to finish the climb. I then rang the door bell and yelled out to Amy to let her know it was me. She came up from her basement and let me in. She had forgotten to close the front door, and I told her I was glad she had. We then sat together on her stairway in her basement.

I think we were safer there because my basement/garage has a garage door that could easily be blown off whereas hers is completely walled and actually below ground. She also had internet and tv to track the storm.

We were there for about an hour and a half. Some of that time was spent anticipating the core of the storm, part of it was very much in the brunt of the storm, and the last part of it was waiting for the tornado warning to lift. Around the city, there were reports of funnel clouds going up and down with momentary touchdowns, but nothing happened in our direct neighborhood. Yet sadly, while I was late for work, I still had to go to work even after such a crazy time. lol

It has been many years since I've experienced such an imminent tornado threat, and I will be more than glad to allow a few more years to pass before it happens again. However, I do live in the midwest.

Praise God for today's safety though. :)

Line Crossed

Today, I participated in a demonstration against the building of a new nuclear weapons plant in Kansas City, Missouri. This was my first protest, and my head is still spinning trying to process everything.

The event itself was carefully and intentionally planned and executed by several individuals and groups. The focus was on a non-violent protest, so no one or thing was insulted, harmed, or damaged. The event began with the holding of signs and conversations. There was then an excellent drama of how nukes are becoming destructive idols in Kansas City. There was a moment of silence as we all lay after “the explosion of a bomb,” and then there was “resurrection” in the hope for transformation in the current destructive and corrupt players and systems responsible for this construction. The passing of peace occurred amongst old friends and new, and inspirational words and testimonies were shared.

People then trespassed on the property blocking the main gate to the construction site. People sang and danced as the police came near. After the first warning, the majority of people crossed back over the defined property line. But 51 people remained committed to risking arrest. After several other warnings, police began to follow through with their threats. Their lack of initial transportation for all of these people illustrated their underestimation of the commitment to stand against the building of a new nuclear weapons plant as well as the corrupt ways in which it is being financed. And while most of the people refused to post bail, the police and government officials will be forced to hear peaceful, yet intentional objections to what is occurring in our city tomorrow morning in court along with more beneficial alternatives.

While I did not risk arrest, I found much meaning in being present. I am still fairly new to this conversation, so my words are few. But I knew that I wanted to at least be present. While nothing super amazing or event-altering occurred this morning, I experienced moments with God that are initially difficult to explain. After leaving the site, my brain ran in circles trying to process what happened theologically this Monday morning. It was hard to pin point because no dramatic results occurred, I did not stand in front of a bulldozer, or anything else that you’d expect from all the Hollywood depictions of a protest demonstration. I did not trespass, yet I was a part of the witness.

As I mentioned earlier, a drama was performed. It was unique and funny yet powerful and moving. It illustrated how ridiculous it seems that nuclear weapons would be our answer to creating jobs and security when the chemicals seriously harm if not kill the workers and the threat of violence simply increases threats across the board.

And so in the middle of the drama, when the “bomb exploded,” we all fell onto the ground. Somewhere between 150 and 200 people lay on the ground followed by 30 seconds of silence. And in these moments, I could feel the cold earth under me as I stared at the blue sky. In these moments- between songs, laughter, and dance- between marching and standing- in these moments lying amongst other bodies staring at the vast sky above, it hit me…

I am participating in the stand against destruction.

I am participating in the hopes of transformation.

THIS... IS... the surrendering of myself... as I literally lie down with no words to say... but the heart and passion that presence is enough.

I crossed the line from words to action.

It was not about the results from the day. It was not about the effectiveness of the event. In these moments where nothing was even said, I felt the power of action in presence. The truth of Mother Theresa’s words hit me at a new level. “We are called not to be successful but to be faithful.” And here I lay… faithfully to the convictions God placed upon me… unaware of what was to happen next but willing to no longer be absent or apathetic. Here I was… literally lying out my faith.

And as I ‘died’ to what is, I then saw hope in what could be.

I witnessed this potential of transformation when the stark, looming images- the sources of this destruction- the larger than life-sized puppets of city council, J.E. Dunn, and Zimmer- were covered with the petition to end the building of another nuclear weapons plant in Kansas City, the hopes of building ‘green,’ the desire to grow food and not bombs. These images of destruction transformed into images of hope.