All in the Family

(This story will make sense if you know that my dad and his half of the family are Mexican. And it is also makes sense when you know the eating habits of many Latinos is to eat with some sort of bread scooping whatever food is on the plate.) :)

For Thanksgiving, I went to San Antonio, Texas- the place of my birth and the city where most of my dad's family still resides.

So we are at my aunt's house for the actual Thanksgiving meal. I am sitting at the dining room table with two of my cousins, their grandma, and my uncle. I, of course, loaded up my plate with lots and lots of yummy food. And at the end of the meal, I used my remaining roll to pick up the remaining juices and bits of food.

My cousin, Jimmy, is watching me and says, "Cassie, you may look white, but you are all Mexican."

It made me proud. :)

Excuse the Expletive

I live near a hospital, and I live near the hood. So I hear sirens and other activity fairly regularly. I've learned that when you hear a helicopter pass over once, it is on its way to the hospital. However, when you hear the helicopter continue to fly overhead, it is looking for someone in particular.

Well, this past Saturday I experienced one of those "oh shit" moments. I was at church helping set up for the Thanksgiving extravaganza the next day. The Northeast neighborhood of KCMO is a neighborhood with more activity at night, if you know what I mean. Well, as I drove down Benton between Independence Ave and Truman, I saw a cop car with its sirens on coming towards me. I pulled over, but it turned before it passed me. As I looked at where this car had pulled over, I heard a helicopter. I then saw the police officers walking along the street pointing their flashlights towards a front yard and house. And then as I drove past, the helicopter light shined a few feet from my car on its way to the house. And in my brain, all I could think of was... "oh shit."

I wasn't in any immediate danger, but being that close to searching lights is a bit much. It's been a while since they've been searching directly in my neighborhood.

(And mom and dad or any other relative that may read this, I'm ok. I wasn't in any immediate danger. Just a friendly reminder of living in a heavily urban area.) :)

Robin Hood-esque

So today I was going to the movies with a friend, and we were planning on seeing In Time at 4:45. We showed up to the movies, and it wasn't on the screen. We asked the ticket lady, and she said they were experiencing some technical difficulties, but they were giving a free ticket for the inconvenience. After some discussion, we decided to watch Tower Heist which had just started, have some dinner, and make it a double feature by seeing In Time at 7:25.

Best decision of the day!!!! We got to see one movie for free and pay $6 for another. Awesome!!!

Tower Heist was quite comical. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. Very much a stickin' it to the rich man... which every loan-overwhelmed recent graduate can celebrate. ;)

In Time was also superb. Action good, acting good, film overall enjoyable. And it was way more deep than I anticipated. I knew the overall premise and figured what it would involve. But there were certain monologues or quick remarks that just got me in the chest. The fact that there is enough for us all- if only we shared. How change may last for a while, but human greed will keep fighting back. How those 'with' may not be evil, but so many continue by just 'closing our eyes.' Oohhh... so good. I recommend it for those that want something to chew on, and I recommend it for those who would like some quality time staring at Justin Timberlake. lol For real though, super good movie- still thinking about the story and so many of the details laced throughout it.

And so now, I wish that I could somehow spread the wealth to those less fortunate. Of course, another theme for these two movies was not just about the money. Relationships and the (near or actual) loss of loved ones was a huge driving factor. But I don't want to get too sappy here... so I'll just leave it with saying that you should go see both of these at some point in time.

Breasts and Babies

One of my part time jobs is at a shelter for pregnant teenagers. It's called Mother's Refuge. It can get a bit crazy, but I love it. My hours are also a bit crazy, but I love them too... usually. Tonight is one of my long shifts. I work back to back evening and overnight shifts which means I am here from 3pm on Sunday to 7am on Monday. It can get long, but I've learned how to break it up enough.

Today's shift has been pretty good. No major incidences and several funny moments.

Definite highlight: one of the girls has a "fake baby" that she's been taking care of this last week. It's one of those baby dolls with a computer in it, so it can be programmed when to cry and such along with a memory of how quickly and how well you respond.

(REMEMBER, this is a fake baby.) Well, she comes up to me and asks, "Miss Cassie, will you breast feed my baby while I go to the bathroom?" Several girls around us burst into laughter, and I said, "... suurrreee... I will gladly do that for you."

It's a pretty fancy doll that gives you an option of putting a bottle in its mouth or a patch (aka "breast") to put over its mouth.

Taping Bugs to the Ceiling

As it is now summer weather, it is hot and more and more humid in Kansas City. This means the ACs are blowing if the windows are not open. This also means that I have a record number of insects in my house and more specifically in my room. It's quite disturbing.

Some of the bugs are small and only annoying as they flit into your face repeatedly or walk around the tv screen while you are trying to watch a movie. Others are much larger and fly at you when you try to kill them. Others are unknown what they'll do- fly, jump, squish, leak, smell... and so they are left alone.

Yet, last summer I found some inspiration of attacking this insect dilemma. Late one night, I happened to look up at the light in my room and noticed an alarming amount of insects and gnats flying around the dim dome. I did not know how to mass attack, so I set some longer term traps. I had some packing tape which I strung loosely across the light several times in different directions. By morning, no bugs were flying; they were all stuck. And in seeing how effective this tool was, I kept them there and continued to catch a variety of size and types of bugs.

Well, I have not gone extreme taping on the light dome in my room, yet the tape solution has remained with me. Early one morning a large pinching looking bug was on my mirror. I tried to catch/kill it, but it fell and then flew away. I tried to find it a LONG time because I did not want to find it later at an inconvenient/scary time. Sadly, it was gone... UNTIL later that night it was on my ceiling. I did not want to risk losing it again. I could not catch it in a cup; that failed that morning. I did not want to smash it with my shoe- not only because the draft of the coming doom might alert it but any falling parts would fall directly onto my bed. Thus, I looked for what else was around me... and there I found my trusty packing tape.

I ripped off a long piece. I crouched on top of my bed, slowly extending my legs moving closer to the winged creature. I then surprised it and stuck it to the ceiling enclosing off any bubbled exit routes. And so it remained.

I did not want to take it off the ceiling right away because I did not know its life expectancy, and so it remained alone. UNTIL tonight... Nearby was a bug that looked similarly close to a stink bug, and you certainly do not want to mess with those. And so in even better precision, it also met the same fate.

And so now, I lie in my bed at peace knowing at least two larger bugs will not be threatening me this slumber, for they are taped onto my ceiling. (which is ok because I live in the ghetto and do not have super high standards) :) May they remain (for a short time) as a warning to all other insects out there; there is a low tolerance of crittering in this bedroom!!!

This is not a test...

Today began like any other. I woke up to Pilar (my dog) whining to be fed, and I could hear the rain and thunder. I was supposed to go to church to help in the office, but the pastor texted and said that we could postpone to Friday. So I took the extra time to lay in bed. I planned that I would lie in bed and play on the internet for a while, get up and get ready for work at 11am, then I would have a leisurely lunch while I watched hulu, and then I'd go to work at 12:30pm.

Well, the beginning of my plan was thwarted by the fact that my internet was not working. I think something happened to neighborhood lines in the crazy windstorm over night. So I just played a game on my computer instead. Well, then 11am came, and as I got up to go to take a shower, the tornado sirens started blaring. I got nervous quick. I didn't know how much danger I was in and how quick it was going to get there. My internet was down, so I couldn't look online. And I don't have tv channels, so I couldn't check there.

I saw that my neighbor across the street had her front door open, so I knew she was home. Before I decided to go over there, I went to safety on the stairway in my basement/garage. However, I was panicking because I didn't know what was happening 'out there' at all. I needed to find out where the storm was and how long it was going to last. So I decided to run to my neighbors. And so I learned what is most important to me in a critical situation.

I've pondered this before and tried to determine what I would take. Well, now I know.

1. I do not want to be caught in any sort of disaster without a bra. While I took the few seconds to put one on, I did not take the time to put on deodorant or brush my teeth. I did quickly brush my hair because I was running outside. (Don't judge too harshly though because remember that I was in those moments of the morning where I hadn't gotten/just did get out of bed. Ok? I slightly wished I had at least brushed my teeth, but again, I didn't know how much of a warning those sirens were giving.)

I then threw on a hoodie and slipped on some flip flops. I was still wearing a spaghetti-strapped shirt and my man-pajama pants.

2. Pilar is very important to me. She was laying on my bed watching me momentarily freak out, and so I grabbed her to take her to safety with me. I would never leave her.

3. My phone is also very important. It is the device I use most to contact people, and I used it to check in with friends that were in danger zones as well as with my dad.

4. On the way out the door, I grabbed my house keys. I didn't know what was going to happen, but I figured I better lock the door just in case, and obviously, I would need a way back in.

So with my phone, keys, and dog, I ran across the street and up the driveway to my neighbors. I lost a flip flop on the way up because it was raining, so I slipped off the other one and grabbed both in order to finish the climb. I then rang the door bell and yelled out to Amy to let her know it was me. She came up from her basement and let me in. She had forgotten to close the front door, and I told her I was glad she had. We then sat together on her stairway in her basement.

I think we were safer there because my basement/garage has a garage door that could easily be blown off whereas hers is completely walled and actually below ground. She also had internet and tv to track the storm.

We were there for about an hour and a half. Some of that time was spent anticipating the core of the storm, part of it was very much in the brunt of the storm, and the last part of it was waiting for the tornado warning to lift. Around the city, there were reports of funnel clouds going up and down with momentary touchdowns, but nothing happened in our direct neighborhood. Yet sadly, while I was late for work, I still had to go to work even after such a crazy time. lol

It has been many years since I've experienced such an imminent tornado threat, and I will be more than glad to allow a few more years to pass before it happens again. However, I do live in the midwest.

Praise God for today's safety though. :)

Line Crossed

Today, I participated in a demonstration against the building of a new nuclear weapons plant in Kansas City, Missouri. This was my first protest, and my head is still spinning trying to process everything.

The event itself was carefully and intentionally planned and executed by several individuals and groups. The focus was on a non-violent protest, so no one or thing was insulted, harmed, or damaged. The event began with the holding of signs and conversations. There was then an excellent drama of how nukes are becoming destructive idols in Kansas City. There was a moment of silence as we all lay after “the explosion of a bomb,” and then there was “resurrection” in the hope for transformation in the current destructive and corrupt players and systems responsible for this construction. The passing of peace occurred amongst old friends and new, and inspirational words and testimonies were shared.

People then trespassed on the property blocking the main gate to the construction site. People sang and danced as the police came near. After the first warning, the majority of people crossed back over the defined property line. But 51 people remained committed to risking arrest. After several other warnings, police began to follow through with their threats. Their lack of initial transportation for all of these people illustrated their underestimation of the commitment to stand against the building of a new nuclear weapons plant as well as the corrupt ways in which it is being financed. And while most of the people refused to post bail, the police and government officials will be forced to hear peaceful, yet intentional objections to what is occurring in our city tomorrow morning in court along with more beneficial alternatives.

While I did not risk arrest, I found much meaning in being present. I am still fairly new to this conversation, so my words are few. But I knew that I wanted to at least be present. While nothing super amazing or event-altering occurred this morning, I experienced moments with God that are initially difficult to explain. After leaving the site, my brain ran in circles trying to process what happened theologically this Monday morning. It was hard to pin point because no dramatic results occurred, I did not stand in front of a bulldozer, or anything else that you’d expect from all the Hollywood depictions of a protest demonstration. I did not trespass, yet I was a part of the witness.

As I mentioned earlier, a drama was performed. It was unique and funny yet powerful and moving. It illustrated how ridiculous it seems that nuclear weapons would be our answer to creating jobs and security when the chemicals seriously harm if not kill the workers and the threat of violence simply increases threats across the board.

And so in the middle of the drama, when the “bomb exploded,” we all fell onto the ground. Somewhere between 150 and 200 people lay on the ground followed by 30 seconds of silence. And in these moments, I could feel the cold earth under me as I stared at the blue sky. In these moments- between songs, laughter, and dance- between marching and standing- in these moments lying amongst other bodies staring at the vast sky above, it hit me…

I am participating in the stand against destruction.

I am participating in the hopes of transformation.

THIS... IS... the surrendering of myself... as I literally lie down with no words to say... but the heart and passion that presence is enough.

I crossed the line from words to action.

It was not about the results from the day. It was not about the effectiveness of the event. In these moments where nothing was even said, I felt the power of action in presence. The truth of Mother Theresa’s words hit me at a new level. “We are called not to be successful but to be faithful.” And here I lay… faithfully to the convictions God placed upon me… unaware of what was to happen next but willing to no longer be absent or apathetic. Here I was… literally lying out my faith.

And as I ‘died’ to what is, I then saw hope in what could be.

I witnessed this potential of transformation when the stark, looming images- the sources of this destruction- the larger than life-sized puppets of city council, J.E. Dunn, and Zimmer- were covered with the petition to end the building of another nuclear weapons plant in Kansas City, the hopes of building ‘green,’ the desire to grow food and not bombs. These images of destruction transformed into images of hope.

Provided

I give all glory to God on this one.

I graduate in one week and three days, but I have a summer class to complete my final elective credits. The cost of the class was supposed to be around a thousand dollars, but when I got the bill in the mail, there was an unexpected scholarship bringing it to six hundred and fifty dollars. This was a large blessing because there are no loans available for the summer classes, so I was going to pay for this class directly.

Well, as a student (and especially as a graduating senior), I participated in some competitions of sorts. I submitted a paper and sermon for consideration for the Tom Nees Social Justice Award and the Corlett Senior Sermon Series. I am very excited that I did well! I co-won the social justice paper, and I was a semi-finalist for the sermon series. Both had monetary awards attached which were given today in a special celebration chapel.

I was planning to use these monetary awards to cover most of my summer class, but with the two awards, I am able to completely cover the class and buy books. Hallelujah!!!

So while it's kind of funny that NTS is giving me money simply for me to give it right back, I thank God for again providing in unexpected ways!!!

Nightmares Almost Come True

When I was little, I went through this phase where I would take really fast showers because I was afraid that an octopus or other sea creature would come out of the shower head, attack, and then eat me. I don't know where this fear came from, but I reasoned... water is in the ocean, and water comes out of the shower; sea "monsters" are in the ocean, and therefore, sea "monsters" may come out of the shower too.

Well this morning, it wasn't a sea "monster," but it was still horrifying. I was getting ready to take a shower. I turned on the water as normal and waited for a good temperature. It was cold this morning, so I wanted the water to be nice and warm. Then, I pulled up the little knob on the faucet to start the shower. Just as I was about to get in the bathtub, I saw something moving in the shower drain. It was dark- kind of like the few hairs on the shower drain, but it wasn't just swirling around. It was coming out!!! For the split second, I was in wonder how weird it looked as hair emerged from the drain only to then be in pure terror and disgust when a large beetle-like bug then came forth.

I did not scream, but I kind of wanted. I wasn't sure what to do. There was no cup in the bathroom to pick it up. So I kind of watched it slip around in the water. The water current was not strong enough to send him back from where he came. And as easily as he plopped out of the drain, he was not going back as such. So then, I looked in the bathroom for something to get him out. I was not trying to save his life but put it out quicker by putting him in the toilet and flushing him. However, he would not get on anything.

And so he drowned... in my shower. I was then able to retrieve him and send him on his way via toilet.

However, I still had to take a shower. And the entire time I was in the shower, I was paranoid about feeling something crawling along my feet. Minus the rinsing hair time, I kept a close eye on the drain and might be paranoid about it for a few days.

Oops... maaa

On this chilled Sunday, I come here to confess my shortcomings.

At a restaurant late at night last night, I took 3 bites of my friend's chocolate dessert. It is when I went for the next bite that I realized what I had done. I dropped my fork and gasped at what I had done.

Being intentional is difficult when you are used to consuming everything. (profound on several levels, right?) I can think ahead of not eating ice cream and drinking soda, but chocolate seems to be in everything. I was reminded by a friend that the Lord forgives (amen), so this will serve as the week's indulgence.

Hopefully, I will be a little more attentive the rest of the Lenten season. :)

Lenten Season

Giving up something for Lent is not about penance. I am not trying to atone my sins or earn my salvation. I can't do that; only God's grace covers me, and it covers me well. However, I choose to participate in Lent as a way of recognizing what I do indulge in- not to punish myself by abstaining but to be intentional in what I do/consume. I am also trying to add in some extra-God time as I do prepare not only for Easter but for graduation. :)

Last year for Lent, I gave up meat. It wasn't too bad. I made it nearly 3 weeks before even having a craving, and I found a lot of amazing vegetarian recipes. In fact, a year later, I don't eat meat that often. Kind of got out of habit and love the yummy veggie recipes I have.

This year for Lent I gave up three things- chocolate, ice cream, and soda. Even in day 1, I realize the GI-NOR-MOUS task I have ahead of me. I didn't realize how much these three things make up my diet. After eating lunch with a neighbor, I thought how good ice cream would be, but then I couldn't get it. And then I had some time before work, and since I was dead tired I decided to stop at McDs for a coffee. As I approached the door, I realized I couldn't have my favorite mocha because it's chocolate. And a caramel latte is NOT the same.

So here I am at the end of the first day of Lent knowing this may be far more stretching than giving up meat. Here I go with the fruits for dessert. :)

Coincidence, I think not

I work at a pharmacy which is part of a shopping center in Overland Park, Kansas. Also in this shopping center is a running shoe store. Once a month, their running club meets taking up all of the parking spaces. Two Saturday ago they met, so when I got to work around 9:30 am (the store opens at 9:30), I was lucky to find a spot.

When I got inside, my boss told me someone had knocked on the back door, but we never open the back door because of security reasons. He said he waited a few minutes and then checked to see who it was; he saw a man all in black walking away. He didn't know if he was a runner trying to get around the building or what, but it was suspicious.

A little later this same man was staring into our store window. My boss was quite nervous about it, but the man never came in. Around 10am, my boss noticed his usual parking spot open, so he went to move his van. Nearby he saw the same sketchy guy sitting in a car, but the car was backed in rather than the normal drive-in position. The guy took off his hat and leaned the seat back when he noticed my boss. As my boss came back in, he wrote down the license plate number, and shortly after, the guy drove away.

My boss made a police report because he recognized the guy from a long time ago, and it was suspicious behavior in general.

This last week, a detective sent my boss a news link with a video about a pharmacy robbery (a guy held two people at gun point in order to get some oxycontin. they were both unharmed.) in Kansas City, Kansas. It happened on the same Saturday as our weird encounter. My boss couldn't really distinguish the face in the video, but he said he looked a little heavier in the video and was wearing different clothes than the guy hanging around our pharmacy. But my boss still talked with the pharmacist that was robbed and compared notes about the guy and his car. He gave the police the name of the guy (since he had recognized him), his description, and the description of the car.

Well, this evening we got a call from the other pharmacist.The police caught the guy who robbed them, and it turned out it was the SAME GUY who was at our pharmacy. The same guy who robbed the pharmacy in KC, Kansas, in the afternoon was staking out our pharmacy in the morning. The police found him because of my boss' tips too!!! I don't know if he chickened out because of all the traffic from the running club, but both my boss and I were a little spooked out at the fact that we could have easily been the ones robbed two Saturdays ago. So crazy!!!!

Praise God for unknown and unexplainable protection.

Now informed...

This could be just another case of guilt and shame, but instead of going down that normal, well-trodden path, I encourage myself and you to take this as an opportunity to engage and make things better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ycih_jMObQ

Look up raisehopeforcongo.org to see where electronic companies you have in your home lie. My computer is a Toshiba, and I am greatly grieved. They will be hearing from me.

Fill me up

Last Saturday was the annual Dentistry from the Heart in Olathe, Kansas. Dentistry from the Heart is an event that welcomes people without dental insurance and are low income to get some free dentist work. They occur all over America at different times of the year, and different offices provide different services.

Last year, my roommate and I showed up at 8:15am (the event started at 8am), but the line was so long we didn't get into the office before it closed. So this year, we were proactive, and showed up at the office at 6:30 in the A-M. It might seem a little crazy, but this is free dentistry work!!! For a person without dental insurance and a few aches and pains in the mouth, it is wonderful. Last year, the visit included a cleaning and whatever you needed done, but this year, in order to help more people, they were only offering fillings and extractions. My roommate and I were rewarded for our early morning attendance with the place of #21 and #22- far ahead from our #180-something position from last year. So we waited in the car until quarter til 8, and then we joined the growing crew inside a supposedly warming tent. Just before 9, our numbers were called, and we entered the nicely warmed building to find fairly comfortable waiting room chairs and a large flat screen tv playing Cars. I was quickly impressed, and then I remembered I was in Olathe which is in Johnson County which is one of the richest counties in America.

Just a few minutes later, the assistants called me back. A dentist was there waiting and asked what was wrong. I told her that my lower left side of my jaw had been hurting, so she took a look. I had an x-ray on that side of my mouth where they found a tiny cavity. However, the cause of my pain was actually a result of my previously unknown grinding of the teeth. (I will have to be more careful.) So the next 20 minutes were spent getting numbed, drilled, and filled. I left happily although not feeling the left side of my mouth and tongue.

And so even though I had a cavity and then had to go to work, I was so excited because I didn't have to pay for anything!!! The only thing that would have made this experience better would have been a sticker of a smiling tooth and toothbrush, but I'll take the fact that I had no bill to pay too. :)

Ol Geezers vs. Young Whippersnappers

I seem to be hearing all over the place "the problems with this generation" or "the issues with young people." And I wonder to myself, do they not realize I am a young person?! The people who are talking are of an older generation, and I recognize the trouble with transition and the quick changing of times. However, I believe if you are going to slam a group of people (that you obviously do not understand), do not try to gain agreement from a person who identifies with the previously named group!!!

I feel at edge about this because it seems like I am constantly bombarded with assumed jargon. In one minute, they (unnamed because I see the accused groups on a regular basis) are grasping at ends to understand the younger generation, and the next minute, they are telling you everything (wrong) with the younger generation. Some of their frustration, I believe, comes from trying to connect or at least understand people under 30, but you don't get there by making statements.

I was told today that young people do not know how to communicate. I did not respond to him at the moment because I was thinking "do you realize I am a young person", but I strongly believe the opposite to be true. In my case, I am tired of being told what I think. I am tired of people ignoring or talking over my thoughts and questions because I obviously don't have enough experience or it's too radical or it's unrealistic or that's not how it has been or whatever. So rather than approach a person's physical body and discuss it, I write a blog. My generation has not stopped communicating; we are just talking to more people. Sure, the consequence of that is that we sometimes miss the local faces, but don't rule out how we express ourselves, please!

Bridging the generational gap is certainly cross-cultural. And with that, there is a sensitivity that needs to be had. My knee-reaction is to blindly defend my generation, my IDENTITY, but I know we are not perfect. In honesty, I think we are simply reacting to (or perhaps against ) those before us. And in the automatic swing back and forth, we misstep, but perfection did not exist "when I was your age" or "the good ol days" either. Society did not all of a sudden crap out the day Generation X, Y, or Millienials were born. (So in knee-reaction, please stop blaming us for how the world is today! Thank you.)

We need to have bridges between generations because older people have so much wisdom from the life they have lived, but they need us young people too. We can offer a renewed sense of hope and perspective. We can aid each other through the transitions. So we all need to stop assuming things about each other. We need to be open and ready to learn as if we were entering another country and culture- because we are.

When you gotta go...

Last week we got a lot of snow. About 8 inches over Sunday night through most of Monday. And Pilar being of short stature does not like to go potty in the snow. (Pilar is a slightly obese chihuahua.) She'll be ready to jump out the door or run to the grass, but as soon as she sees the snow, she stops dead in her tracks. She is not a cold temperature dog, so I shoveled out a piece of grass for her to go potty in as any good pet owner would do. But she must have been too cold because all she did was pee really quick and then run back to the garage door to go back inside.

Now, Pilar poops a lot. If I let her sniff around long enough, she'll poop at least 3 times a day. But this time around, she held her poop for nearly 2 days. 2 DAYS!!! She didn't poop from Sunday night until late Tuesday afternoon.

Well last night we got another dumping of snow. At least six inches from Wednesday night to Thursday morning. And early Thursday morning, I took Pilar to the garage with my shovel in hand to make her some potty space. Well, apparently it was an emergency because as soon as I opened the garage door enough, she jumped into the snow and took a squat. I didn't even get a step outside or a swing with my shovel before she was letting loose. I was astounded, but when you gotta go, you gotta go.

Blurry-Eyed and Hunting

I did not realize that my last post was in August. I suppose that clearly illustrates how insane last semester was. I was working about 20 hours a week at the pharmacy, taking a full load of classes, and doing an internship another 20 hours a week. I am a crazy woman. I wasn't sure I was going to make it near the end, but everything was completed on time and in relatively good shape. :)

I am certainly glad that I have a bit of a break before the next semester starts. Although I will be honest, I am quite nervous that as quickly as last semester went this semester will be even faster. Don't get me wrong, I am overly ecstatic about the fact that I will be graduating in May (with one summer class to take to "actually" graduate). But then there's the realization that I may actually be growing up or perhaps dare I even say that I have... grown up. Frightening yet exciting yet terrifying yet awesome. It's a mix of emotions, obviously.

So here I am at the beginning of 2011 wondering where the last 5 months went as well as knowing that the next 5 will be equally insane. I guess I live on the thrill. And with that thrill I am so thankful to be in Kansas City. I love it here. While it hasn't always been easy for various bumps in the road, I am grateful for where I am in life.

And so I venture into 2011 trusting God with the "after a little over 5 months" part. I have no idea what I will be doing or even where I will be. I am open to all opportunities in any location. I plan on staying State-side until I pay off my school loans though. But if you know of any church positions open ( in the areas of community development/compassionate ministries or even associate pastor) or rich people wanting to help a poor ministry-oriented female with the heavy weight of education loans... let me know. ;) Seriously though, let me know.