This is not a test...

Today began like any other. I woke up to Pilar (my dog) whining to be fed, and I could hear the rain and thunder. I was supposed to go to church to help in the office, but the pastor texted and said that we could postpone to Friday. So I took the extra time to lay in bed. I planned that I would lie in bed and play on the internet for a while, get up and get ready for work at 11am, then I would have a leisurely lunch while I watched hulu, and then I'd go to work at 12:30pm.

Well, the beginning of my plan was thwarted by the fact that my internet was not working. I think something happened to neighborhood lines in the crazy windstorm over night. So I just played a game on my computer instead. Well, then 11am came, and as I got up to go to take a shower, the tornado sirens started blaring. I got nervous quick. I didn't know how much danger I was in and how quick it was going to get there. My internet was down, so I couldn't look online. And I don't have tv channels, so I couldn't check there.

I saw that my neighbor across the street had her front door open, so I knew she was home. Before I decided to go over there, I went to safety on the stairway in my basement/garage. However, I was panicking because I didn't know what was happening 'out there' at all. I needed to find out where the storm was and how long it was going to last. So I decided to run to my neighbors. And so I learned what is most important to me in a critical situation.

I've pondered this before and tried to determine what I would take. Well, now I know.

1. I do not want to be caught in any sort of disaster without a bra. While I took the few seconds to put one on, I did not take the time to put on deodorant or brush my teeth. I did quickly brush my hair because I was running outside. (Don't judge too harshly though because remember that I was in those moments of the morning where I hadn't gotten/just did get out of bed. Ok? I slightly wished I had at least brushed my teeth, but again, I didn't know how much of a warning those sirens were giving.)

I then threw on a hoodie and slipped on some flip flops. I was still wearing a spaghetti-strapped shirt and my man-pajama pants.

2. Pilar is very important to me. She was laying on my bed watching me momentarily freak out, and so I grabbed her to take her to safety with me. I would never leave her.

3. My phone is also very important. It is the device I use most to contact people, and I used it to check in with friends that were in danger zones as well as with my dad.

4. On the way out the door, I grabbed my house keys. I didn't know what was going to happen, but I figured I better lock the door just in case, and obviously, I would need a way back in.

So with my phone, keys, and dog, I ran across the street and up the driveway to my neighbors. I lost a flip flop on the way up because it was raining, so I slipped off the other one and grabbed both in order to finish the climb. I then rang the door bell and yelled out to Amy to let her know it was me. She came up from her basement and let me in. She had forgotten to close the front door, and I told her I was glad she had. We then sat together on her stairway in her basement.

I think we were safer there because my basement/garage has a garage door that could easily be blown off whereas hers is completely walled and actually below ground. She also had internet and tv to track the storm.

We were there for about an hour and a half. Some of that time was spent anticipating the core of the storm, part of it was very much in the brunt of the storm, and the last part of it was waiting for the tornado warning to lift. Around the city, there were reports of funnel clouds going up and down with momentary touchdowns, but nothing happened in our direct neighborhood. Yet sadly, while I was late for work, I still had to go to work even after such a crazy time. lol

It has been many years since I've experienced such an imminent tornado threat, and I will be more than glad to allow a few more years to pass before it happens again. However, I do live in the midwest.

Praise God for today's safety though. :)

Line Crossed

Today, I participated in a demonstration against the building of a new nuclear weapons plant in Kansas City, Missouri. This was my first protest, and my head is still spinning trying to process everything.

The event itself was carefully and intentionally planned and executed by several individuals and groups. The focus was on a non-violent protest, so no one or thing was insulted, harmed, or damaged. The event began with the holding of signs and conversations. There was then an excellent drama of how nukes are becoming destructive idols in Kansas City. There was a moment of silence as we all lay after “the explosion of a bomb,” and then there was “resurrection” in the hope for transformation in the current destructive and corrupt players and systems responsible for this construction. The passing of peace occurred amongst old friends and new, and inspirational words and testimonies were shared.

People then trespassed on the property blocking the main gate to the construction site. People sang and danced as the police came near. After the first warning, the majority of people crossed back over the defined property line. But 51 people remained committed to risking arrest. After several other warnings, police began to follow through with their threats. Their lack of initial transportation for all of these people illustrated their underestimation of the commitment to stand against the building of a new nuclear weapons plant as well as the corrupt ways in which it is being financed. And while most of the people refused to post bail, the police and government officials will be forced to hear peaceful, yet intentional objections to what is occurring in our city tomorrow morning in court along with more beneficial alternatives.

While I did not risk arrest, I found much meaning in being present. I am still fairly new to this conversation, so my words are few. But I knew that I wanted to at least be present. While nothing super amazing or event-altering occurred this morning, I experienced moments with God that are initially difficult to explain. After leaving the site, my brain ran in circles trying to process what happened theologically this Monday morning. It was hard to pin point because no dramatic results occurred, I did not stand in front of a bulldozer, or anything else that you’d expect from all the Hollywood depictions of a protest demonstration. I did not trespass, yet I was a part of the witness.

As I mentioned earlier, a drama was performed. It was unique and funny yet powerful and moving. It illustrated how ridiculous it seems that nuclear weapons would be our answer to creating jobs and security when the chemicals seriously harm if not kill the workers and the threat of violence simply increases threats across the board.

And so in the middle of the drama, when the “bomb exploded,” we all fell onto the ground. Somewhere between 150 and 200 people lay on the ground followed by 30 seconds of silence. And in these moments, I could feel the cold earth under me as I stared at the blue sky. In these moments- between songs, laughter, and dance- between marching and standing- in these moments lying amongst other bodies staring at the vast sky above, it hit me…

I am participating in the stand against destruction.

I am participating in the hopes of transformation.

THIS... IS... the surrendering of myself... as I literally lie down with no words to say... but the heart and passion that presence is enough.

I crossed the line from words to action.

It was not about the results from the day. It was not about the effectiveness of the event. In these moments where nothing was even said, I felt the power of action in presence. The truth of Mother Theresa’s words hit me at a new level. “We are called not to be successful but to be faithful.” And here I lay… faithfully to the convictions God placed upon me… unaware of what was to happen next but willing to no longer be absent or apathetic. Here I was… literally lying out my faith.

And as I ‘died’ to what is, I then saw hope in what could be.

I witnessed this potential of transformation when the stark, looming images- the sources of this destruction- the larger than life-sized puppets of city council, J.E. Dunn, and Zimmer- were covered with the petition to end the building of another nuclear weapons plant in Kansas City, the hopes of building ‘green,’ the desire to grow food and not bombs. These images of destruction transformed into images of hope.

Provided

I give all glory to God on this one.

I graduate in one week and three days, but I have a summer class to complete my final elective credits. The cost of the class was supposed to be around a thousand dollars, but when I got the bill in the mail, there was an unexpected scholarship bringing it to six hundred and fifty dollars. This was a large blessing because there are no loans available for the summer classes, so I was going to pay for this class directly.

Well, as a student (and especially as a graduating senior), I participated in some competitions of sorts. I submitted a paper and sermon for consideration for the Tom Nees Social Justice Award and the Corlett Senior Sermon Series. I am very excited that I did well! I co-won the social justice paper, and I was a semi-finalist for the sermon series. Both had monetary awards attached which were given today in a special celebration chapel.

I was planning to use these monetary awards to cover most of my summer class, but with the two awards, I am able to completely cover the class and buy books. Hallelujah!!!

So while it's kind of funny that NTS is giving me money simply for me to give it right back, I thank God for again providing in unexpected ways!!!

Nightmares Almost Come True

When I was little, I went through this phase where I would take really fast showers because I was afraid that an octopus or other sea creature would come out of the shower head, attack, and then eat me. I don't know where this fear came from, but I reasoned... water is in the ocean, and water comes out of the shower; sea "monsters" are in the ocean, and therefore, sea "monsters" may come out of the shower too.

Well this morning, it wasn't a sea "monster," but it was still horrifying. I was getting ready to take a shower. I turned on the water as normal and waited for a good temperature. It was cold this morning, so I wanted the water to be nice and warm. Then, I pulled up the little knob on the faucet to start the shower. Just as I was about to get in the bathtub, I saw something moving in the shower drain. It was dark- kind of like the few hairs on the shower drain, but it wasn't just swirling around. It was coming out!!! For the split second, I was in wonder how weird it looked as hair emerged from the drain only to then be in pure terror and disgust when a large beetle-like bug then came forth.

I did not scream, but I kind of wanted. I wasn't sure what to do. There was no cup in the bathroom to pick it up. So I kind of watched it slip around in the water. The water current was not strong enough to send him back from where he came. And as easily as he plopped out of the drain, he was not going back as such. So then, I looked in the bathroom for something to get him out. I was not trying to save his life but put it out quicker by putting him in the toilet and flushing him. However, he would not get on anything.

And so he drowned... in my shower. I was then able to retrieve him and send him on his way via toilet.

However, I still had to take a shower. And the entire time I was in the shower, I was paranoid about feeling something crawling along my feet. Minus the rinsing hair time, I kept a close eye on the drain and might be paranoid about it for a few days.

Oops... maaa

On this chilled Sunday, I come here to confess my shortcomings.

At a restaurant late at night last night, I took 3 bites of my friend's chocolate dessert. It is when I went for the next bite that I realized what I had done. I dropped my fork and gasped at what I had done.

Being intentional is difficult when you are used to consuming everything. (profound on several levels, right?) I can think ahead of not eating ice cream and drinking soda, but chocolate seems to be in everything. I was reminded by a friend that the Lord forgives (amen), so this will serve as the week's indulgence.

Hopefully, I will be a little more attentive the rest of the Lenten season. :)

Lenten Season

Giving up something for Lent is not about penance. I am not trying to atone my sins or earn my salvation. I can't do that; only God's grace covers me, and it covers me well. However, I choose to participate in Lent as a way of recognizing what I do indulge in- not to punish myself by abstaining but to be intentional in what I do/consume. I am also trying to add in some extra-God time as I do prepare not only for Easter but for graduation. :)

Last year for Lent, I gave up meat. It wasn't too bad. I made it nearly 3 weeks before even having a craving, and I found a lot of amazing vegetarian recipes. In fact, a year later, I don't eat meat that often. Kind of got out of habit and love the yummy veggie recipes I have.

This year for Lent I gave up three things- chocolate, ice cream, and soda. Even in day 1, I realize the GI-NOR-MOUS task I have ahead of me. I didn't realize how much these three things make up my diet. After eating lunch with a neighbor, I thought how good ice cream would be, but then I couldn't get it. And then I had some time before work, and since I was dead tired I decided to stop at McDs for a coffee. As I approached the door, I realized I couldn't have my favorite mocha because it's chocolate. And a caramel latte is NOT the same.

So here I am at the end of the first day of Lent knowing this may be far more stretching than giving up meat. Here I go with the fruits for dessert. :)

Coincidence, I think not

I work at a pharmacy which is part of a shopping center in Overland Park, Kansas. Also in this shopping center is a running shoe store. Once a month, their running club meets taking up all of the parking spaces. Two Saturday ago they met, so when I got to work around 9:30 am (the store opens at 9:30), I was lucky to find a spot.

When I got inside, my boss told me someone had knocked on the back door, but we never open the back door because of security reasons. He said he waited a few minutes and then checked to see who it was; he saw a man all in black walking away. He didn't know if he was a runner trying to get around the building or what, but it was suspicious.

A little later this same man was staring into our store window. My boss was quite nervous about it, but the man never came in. Around 10am, my boss noticed his usual parking spot open, so he went to move his van. Nearby he saw the same sketchy guy sitting in a car, but the car was backed in rather than the normal drive-in position. The guy took off his hat and leaned the seat back when he noticed my boss. As my boss came back in, he wrote down the license plate number, and shortly after, the guy drove away.

My boss made a police report because he recognized the guy from a long time ago, and it was suspicious behavior in general.

This last week, a detective sent my boss a news link with a video about a pharmacy robbery (a guy held two people at gun point in order to get some oxycontin. they were both unharmed.) in Kansas City, Kansas. It happened on the same Saturday as our weird encounter. My boss couldn't really distinguish the face in the video, but he said he looked a little heavier in the video and was wearing different clothes than the guy hanging around our pharmacy. But my boss still talked with the pharmacist that was robbed and compared notes about the guy and his car. He gave the police the name of the guy (since he had recognized him), his description, and the description of the car.

Well, this evening we got a call from the other pharmacist.The police caught the guy who robbed them, and it turned out it was the SAME GUY who was at our pharmacy. The same guy who robbed the pharmacy in KC, Kansas, in the afternoon was staking out our pharmacy in the morning. The police found him because of my boss' tips too!!! I don't know if he chickened out because of all the traffic from the running club, but both my boss and I were a little spooked out at the fact that we could have easily been the ones robbed two Saturdays ago. So crazy!!!!

Praise God for unknown and unexplainable protection.